|
The Headline Riff
10/19/11
Headline: Protesters clash with police in Greece
Riff: After which they enjoy some fleece with Ed Meese.
Headline: Occupy Wall St. protest attracts celebs
Riff: Alec Baldwin is really just a bloated approximation of a celeb, technically.
Headline: Stamp prices going up
Riff: Can the post office's coffin have any more nails crammed in it?
Headline: Mariah Carey's twins on TV
Riff: Hopefully she'll keep them stuffed in a bra this time.
Headline: 'Balloon Boy' dad has new project
Riff: Whoever decided this was news just lost an IQ point.
Headline: Dad: Adderall killing Lindsay Lohan
Riff: And the Worst Father Ever award goes to...
Headline: Turkey Reportedly Launches Incursion Into Iraq
Riff: They timed that way too close to an election year if they expect us getting involved.
Headline: Sources: Obama to Replace North Korea Envoy
Riff: He found someone he hates more?
Headline: Pole dancers turn to classical in search of respect
Riff: Maybe they should search for something more attainable, like 20-dollar-bills.
10/18/11
Headline: Occupy Wall St. 'amazing' to experts
Riff: They didn't know people could go outside, sit around and bitch?
Headline: Obama to N.C.: Make Congress step up
Riff: N.C. to Obama: Ok, we'll build some stairs.
Headline: Obama's prompter, podium stolen
Riff: Gasp! Who's running the country?!
Headline: Report: Jobs' last project not 4S
Riff: It was becoming one with the matrix.
Headline: Houston still has a problem: no shuttle
Riff: They do have a human-sized sling shot and a motorcycle helmet.
Headline: Ford cars will read txt msgs to you
Riff: @Fusion: Hey, @Driver. Change my oil, putz.
Headline: Husband gets Dodgers in divorce deal
Riff: Unfortunately, she got the stadium and the uniforms.
Headline: Monster haboob rolls into Texas
Riff: All I have to say about this headline is: Huh.
Headline: Ind. Dem Chairman Resigns Amid Signature Scandal
Riff: His resignation was signed by George Washington.
More Headline Riffs...
|
