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Slam Dancing Advocates Flooded with Calls About Islam

The American Slam Dancing Association found itself ill-equipped to deal with the deluge of phone calls it received after 50 billboards went up, mistakenly displaying their 877-WHY-ISLAM phone number.

“We set the hotline up to explain why slam dancing is a good thing,” said association chairman Joey ‘Gutter Boy’ Berkowitz, “I think the Muslim must have confused our 877 number with their 888 number. People need to call our hotline to find out ‘Why I Slam.’”

Slam dancing is a violent form of dancing to punk music that rose to popularity in the late 1970’s. It’s mostly forgotten today, and Berkowitz was hoping to raise awareness.

“Slam dancing is a fun way to connect with friends,” said Berkowitz, “People often think it’s the same thing as Moshing, but it isn’t. In slam dancing, the use of motorcycle helmets is discouraged, and we tend to wear less clothing.”

The billboards were erected as part of the Islamic Circle of North America’s 1-877-Why-Islam outreach project. The erred when they used the 877 number instead of 1-888-Why-Islam. As a result, the 888 number is getting no calls at all. Ashfaq Parkar, the project’s coordinator, was embarrassed about the gaffe but felt that correcting it would be unnecessary.

“We just wanted people to feel comfortable starting a dialogue with us,” said Parkar, “Sure, the information they get from the slam dancing people might not be quite as accurate as what we have to say, but at least they’ll have someone to talk to about how much they hate Muslims.”

Berkowitz, while a bit annoyed at the volume of calls to his hotline, was willing to help Parkar with his dialogue.

“Sure, I don’t know much about Islam, but at least we can talk about slam dancing,” said Berkowitz, “Besides, it’s pretty simple. One is a violent activity that often leads to mass injuries and the other is a kind of dancing. I think that’s pretty straightforward.”

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