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Government Shuts Down WikiLeeks
 The Federal Government stepped in today and shut down WikiLeeks, a popular web site that digs up and releases hard-to-find information on leeks, an onion-like vegetable in the Alliaceae family.
“For too long, WikiLeeks has been spreading sensitive information from anonymous sources,” said Attorney General Eric Holder, “And they’ve been doing it with little or no regard for public safety or national security.”
The move caught WikiLeeks founder Julias Lagrange completely off guard.
“This whole thing caught me completely off guard,” said Lagrange, “Apparently; the Obama administration took offense when we revealed that leeks are the key ingredient to cock-a-leekie soup.”
President Obama indicated that the move was meant to send a warning to would-be information abusers that his administration will not take breaches of trust lightly.
“I was disturbed, and what I mean by that is that it was disturbing,” said Obama, “To see the recipe our own White House chef uses for cock-a-leekie soup published on WikiLeeks. We will not tolerate such an offense against the American people and such challenges to the existence of my testicles. I have testicles and I’m here to prove it.”
Critics of the Obama administration indicated that the President lacked the balls to shut down WikiLeaks, a web site that divulges sensitive information about numerous topics, some of which are sensitive to national and world security.
“If President Obama has cajones, they must be really tiny,” said outspoken pundit Sarah Palin, “He was gutsy enough to shut down WikiLeeks, a site we’re all still mad at for leaking all that information about finding dried specimens of leeks in Egyptian archaeological sites, but he didn’t have the grapefruits to do anything about WikiLeaks.”
WikiLeaks spokesman Julian Assange agreed that President Obama lacked the testicular fortitude to attack his site.
“Yes, it took balls to shut down WikiLeeks,” said Assange, “But we’re only talking ping pong balls at best. He doesn’t have the Cassavas to come after us. If he had anything that resembled a pair of serviceable nuts, he would come after us and deal with the backlash when we release his birth certificate.”
President Obama grew increasingly more upset as comments about his diminutive marble sack mounted.
“I have had enough, and by enough I mean I’m not ready to hear anymore,” said Obama, “No more criticizing my little guys. They’re big balls, dammit. Do I have to show you? Here, I’ll show you. Where is everybody going? You are not leaving this press room, Gibbs!”
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