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Sandra Bullock Adopts Charlie Crist
 Sandra Bullock revealed today that not only has she filed for divorce from her cheating spouse Jesse James, but she has also adopted a new son – and his name is Charlie Crist.
In an interview with People Magazine, Bullock revealed that she kept the adoption proceedings secret while her husband’s scandal was in the headlines because “Charlie’s life was confused enough as it is.”
Bullock told People that she adopted Charles Joseph Crist, the 53-year-old governor of Florida, and it feels like “he’s always been a part of our lives!”
Bullock said she and James began the adoption process months ago as Crist seemed to be abandoned by his own political party, supporters, family and pets. In light of James’ infidelity, Bullock is now adopting Crist as a single parent.
“He’s just so cute and squishy, I could eat him up,” said Bullock, “I can’t wait to show him off in his new onesie.”
Crist made no mention of the adoption earlier today when he announced that he’ll be running as an independent in the Florida senate race. Bullock appeared to be tickled by the announcement.
“Isn’t he such a cute little baby? Did you hear how he said that under no circumstance would he drop out of the race so he can do what’s best for the voters of Florida?” said Bullock, “And then he was all like, ‘Goo-goo, ga-ga, goo-goo.’ Such a cute baby!”
Bullock has been stocking up on diapers and formula in anticipation of welcoming Crist to his new home.
Crist, on the other hand, bristled at allegations that he was being adopted as Sandra Bullock’s new baby.
“I am not a baby,” said Crist, “Not, I tell you. Not, not, not! Not infinite!”
Crist then banged his fists on the table and walked out in a huff.
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