|
Back to archIves Home
White House Reveals Butt-Floss Easter Egg Design
 The Obama administration is gearing up for the annual White House Easter Egg roll with what promises to be the most unique Presidential Easter Egg design ever – the “Butt Floss” egg.
Each egg will be painted with a depiction of the popular undergarment digging into its virtual crack. Some will even feature “Tramp Stamp” tattoos just above the panties.
“We wanted to find a true symbol of America,” said President Obama, “Something that everyone could relate to. It’s also personal. I wanted to share some of my own memories of Easter.”
The truly historic moment will occur at the Easter Egg Roll itself, where, for the first time ever, several hundred eggs bearing the likeness of deeply bisected anal cavities will roll simultaneously down the White House lawn.
The eggs will be given as souvenirs to all children 12 years and younger who attend the Easter Egg Roll. As an added bonus, the eco-friendly egg design features non-toxic ink that dissolves completely and harmlessly when licked. Instead of wasting plastic, children will be able to lick the butt floss off of their eggs and roast them, poach them, or drink them raw.
“I can’t wait to get my White House Easter Egg,” said Billy Potts, age 10, “My Daddy keeps telling Uncle Joey about how much he likes it when he licks his secretary’s butt floss. Now I get to find out what’s so good about it!”
Vice President Joe Biden will be on hand to distribute the Easter Eggs as required by the official Vice-Presidential schedule.
“I’m supposed to hand eggs out after I change the filter in the White House coffee maker and before I stand on the balcony and wave at a visiting group of midgets,” said Biden, “Oh. Sorry. Not midgets. I’m not supposed to call them that. They’re little bastards.”
Once he had completed gaff number 523 since taking office, Biden expressed excitement about handing out eggs.
“If there’s one thing I can do well,” said Biden, “It’s put my hands on some eggs. And boy, do I like butt floss. I’ll be wearing some Easter morning, youbetcha.”
The first lady was equally excited about the Easter Egg design.
“He WHAT?!” Shouted Michelle Obama.
Back to archIves Home
|
