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Reid: Obama and I are Cool. Fo’ Shizzle.
 Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV, announced today that he had received President Obama’s forgiveness for racially insensitive comments he made during the campaign, noting that his “homeboy had let it slide, fo’ shizzle.”
“Me and Barack, we’re okay, knowhatI’msayin’,” said Reid, speaking to the news media in a pink leisure suit adorned by multiple gold chains, “I called Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and they said I could still be one of the brothas, and I sure am relieved, booooy.”
Both Sharpton and Jackson did come out and acknowledge that while Reid’s comments were unfortunate, he meant well and felt truly remorseful.
“I just hope the poor guy doesn’t get carried away and start immersing himself in African-American stereotypes in order to more closely identify with us. It’s always annoying when that happens,” said Jackson.
Reid left his press conference early in a black Hummer, sporting 24-inch chrome wheels with spinning centers and a loud, bass-oriented stereo system.
“Now, if my homeboys of the newsmedia will excuse me,” said Reid, “I need to stop off for an ice cold Colt 45 before I go home to my bitches.”
Reid is facing an uphill battle for re-election, with his opponent already zeroing in on his major gaffes.
“I shouldn’t have to do this,” said Reid’s opponent, Sue Lowden, “but Mr. Reid did say, and I quote, ‘We will pass this healthcare bill if I have to pimp-slap every bitch in the Senate, so back that ass up and let’s all do the Humpty Hump.’”
Lowden noted that she has quite a few friends who like to do the Humpty Hump, but she feels it’s something that doesn’t need mentioning on the Senate floor. Perhaps in a Burger King bathroom, where Humpty has been known to ‘get busy,’ but not on a Senate floor.
“I’m just pointing that out,” said Lowden, “Vote your conscience.”
Reid received more support from Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
“I support Harry Reid one hundred percent,” said Pelosi, “As a matter of fact, I’m proud to call myself one of his bitches. He can go upside me with his pimp-stick any time. It’s important that our Senate has competent leadership – someone who’s got his mind on his money and his money on his mind. I tip my gin and juice to you, Harry.”
Added Pelosi, “Word.”
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