|
Back to archives Home
Reality Show Criticized for Galileo Finger Cooking Challenge
 Bravo’s Top Chef, the number one rated culinary reality show, drew harsh criticism Wednesday for a Quickfire Challenge where contestants were to “use the recently recovered fingers of Galileo to create a dish reminiscent of the stars.”
The fingers recently resurfaced after disappearing for more than 100 years. After much speculation, the owner of the jarred, mummified fingers of the historic astronomer was revealed to be Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi.
The Quickfire Challenge is a short cooking competition used to determine which of the contestants will earn immunity in the elimination round for that episode. Contestant Bryan Voltaggio won the Quickfire with a dish he called “A Thousand Points of Light.”
“The dish I created uses a powdered-sugar encrusted Galileo finger, pointing upward,” said Voltaggio as he explained his creation to head Top Chef judge Tom Collicchio, “The finger has been sous vide and laid on a bed of caramelized bacon. I topped it with saffron and fresh ginger root.”
Reaction to Voltaggio’s creation was highly positive among judges.
“That caramelized bacon really brings out the finger,” said Top Chef judge Gail Simmons, “I just love this. I could eat Galileo’s entire arm like this. I don’t just see the stars in this dish, I tingle with them.”
“Conceptually, it’s almost perfect,” said Collicchio, “I would have liked to have seen more bacon, but I think he executed it quite well.”
 Other contestants were not as successful. Jennifer Carroll’s “Finger on a Hot Dog Bun” was dubbed the worst dish.
“This is positively grotesque,” said Toby Young, who is known for his harsh criticism of contestants’ food, “I can’t believe she thought she could put Galileo’s finger on a bun with mustard and expect us to eat it. I don’t know what dreadfully colored sludge she marinated the finger in, but it’s purplish tint is more reminiscent of Galileo’s mummified John Thomas than the very finger that held his telescope.”
“I got a nail,” added Lakshmi, “That’s the first time I’ve tasted nail in this competition. We should definitely mark her down for that.”
When word of the Quickfire spread to the astronomy community, an uproar ensued.
“We’re in an uproar,” said Michael Glass, a well-known astronomer, “Galileo’s fingers are sacred. Those are the fingers that changed the very rotation of the Earth! This is an outrage! However, we’re glad Bryan Voltaggio won the Quickfire. We didn’t want to see him eliminated. He’s a great chef and the dynamic he has with his brother is fascinating.”
Added Glass, “We haven’t found Galileo’s toes yet, but we would appreciate it if Ms. Lakshmi would please stay the hell away from them. I have a place on my mantle cleared. I expect them to be delivered there promptly. And, I would also like to add that Ms. Lakshmi is hot.”
Back to archives Home
|
