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Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin Get High Together
 Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and for Alaska Governor Sarah Palin ended up getting high together and tripping balls after coffee and scones gave way to weed and acid.
The evening started out innocently enough – Palin took Clinton up on her offer to meet, getting together at a local Starbucks. The two had difficulty finding common ground until Palin fessed up to experimenting with mind-enhancing drugs during college.
“When Sarah said she tried acid, I guess I got a little carried away,” said Clinton, “I had just scored a few drops off of Joe Bi… er, a friend of mine named Frederick, and I couldn’t find anybody on capital hill to trip with. On a lark, I asked Sarah if she was into it, and she totally was.”
Palin admitted that she felt nostalgic for an acid trip and that she also felt that it was the only way to end a “pretty awful conversation.”
“Hillary just kept going on and on about what she would do if she was President,” said Palin, “Then, she started talking about how she approaches foreign policy. I was falling into a coma. When she asked me to drop acid with her, I thought, great! Anything to stop the bulls**t from flying out of her mouth!”
According to witnesses, Clinton and Palin excused themselves from Starbucks and retired to a nearby wooded area, where they prepared themselves for an LSD trip by smoking enough marijuana to “mellow out Billy freaking Mayes.”
“Hill had some good weed, ya know,” said Palin, “It must have been medical grade. She wouldn’t say where she got it, but all I can say is that it was like smoking cumulus clouds and breathing Bob Marley music.”
Clinton showed unexpected pot-smoking prowess while hanging out with Palin.
“I was impressed that Sarah event knew what a bong looked like,” said Clinton, “But she couldn’t hang with these lungs. My bong is a two-footer and I sucked in a completely full chamber. She tried to keep up, but she just turned red and coughed a lot. It made me giggle. Actually, pretty much everything made me giggle at that point.”
Once sufficiently high, Clinton shared her LSD with Palin and the two took what has been described as “a righteous trip.”
“I looked down at the dirt and you know what I saw in there?” said Palin, “It was a herd of dragons pulling a chariot. Then, I looked at my hand and it melted. Now that was extremely humorous. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I remember it being both deep and funny at the same time.”
Clinton described a similar experience.
“The treetops turned into blimps and floated off,” said Clinton, “Grimace was piloting them. I remember thinking how odd it was that Grimace was able to replicate himself six times. Then, a squirrel walked right up to me and vomited up a tapestry depicting the last supper. Except instead of the usual people at the last supper, it was the 1981 LA Lakers. I don’t remember much about the conversation, just that it was really deep and funny at the same time.”
Witnesses noted that the “deep and funny” conversation was mostly about a nearby tree branch that looked so important on the ground as opposed to being attached to a tree. It was interrupted by frequent giggling and proclamations that each party was “tripping balls.”
Palin indicated that she would meet with Clinton again, but was reluctant to do so because she didn’t want to pay the tab next time.
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