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Biden Balloon Hoax!
 Authorities revealed today that certain hints from the Obamas proved that the Biden balloon incident was merely a hoax.
“We talked to everyone separately,” said D.C. Chief of Police Brian Jenkins, “Ultimately, we noticed that stories were inconsistent, Joe himself made remarks about doing this ‘for the show,’ and when Mr. Obama was informing the press corps about Mr. Biden’s unscheduled balloon trip, Mr. Biden was actually standing directly behind him.”
The balloon incident touched off Monday, when President Obama’s experimental weather balloon, a UFO-shaped contraption with the words ‘Support Obamacare’ emblazoned across the top, took flight shortly after the Vice President was seen outside playing with it.
Several hours later, the balloon touched down in Fairfax, Virginia, without Mr. Biden aboard. Biden was later found in the White House attic, sleeping in a box, according to the President.
“It was Mr. Biden’s comment that really tipped us off,” said Jenkins, “He said that us morons would finally fall in line on this health care thing if we pulled off this balloon stunt. Then, he said ‘Ooops, I mean, I was scared and I’m glad to be home safe.’”
Jenkins indicated that other inconsistencies cemented his case against the Obamas.
“I knew exactly what I was dealing with when Mr. Obama tried to give me a picture of Mr. Biden floating off in the balloon that was so poorly Photoshopped, it looked like something off of The Endive.”
“I love The Endive, by the way,” added Jenkins, “My wife thinks it’s full of s**t, though.”
President Obama’s response indicated surprise at the sudden media onslaught.
“We’re a little shocked at the way the media’s attacking us over this,” said Obama, “We really thought Joe floated off in our ‘Support Obamacare’ balloon. We were concerned both about Joe and about helping everyone to support Obamacare. You know how scared Joe gets when it comes to heights. We had a heck of a time preventing the press from getting pictures of Joe after he freaked out and peed in his pants at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Poor little man was wearing khakis. Support Obamacare.”
Obama’s friends and associates began to confirm one-by-one that the Obamas staged the hoax to draw attention to Obamacare.
“Yeah, he said he was going to pretend Joe got carried away in a balloon,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, “That way he could say ‘Support Obamacare’ on TV a lot. He also wanted a good picture for the archives of him looking concerned. Mission accomplished, I’d say. Support Obamacare.”
Vice President Biden had plenty to say when he managed to slip away from the watchful eye of the Obamas and talk to reporters.
“Wolf Blitzer? Who in the blue hell is Wolf Blitzer?” said Biden, “Sounds like a disease on a wolf’s willy if you ask me. And what the hell is up with all these freaking Swedish people bagging groceries at the Shop Rite? Go make me a sausage or something. Is that your tie or did you throw up? Wow, did you hear that fart? That was a baritone! Whoever doesn’t want to end up in Gitmo needs to get me a danish, stat. Support Obamacare.”
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