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Dalai Lama Does the Butt Dance in Memphis
 The Dalai Lama’s visit to Memphis started with a fist bump from Mayor Pro Tem Myron Lowery, who also quipped, “Hello, Dalai.”
The Lama, known for his sense of humor, quickly decided to one-up Lowery, by breaking into an impromptu butt dance.
“The Lama just turned around and started shaking his rump,” said the Mayor’s assistant, Joe Evans, “It wasn’t half-assed, either. He shook all the junk in his trunk. I have never seen a Lama get that funky before – not in the last 20 incarnations.”
The Dalai Lama’s visit to the Memphis was twofold – to mark the civil rights advances that came from Memphis through Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and to begin lobbying for a spot on “Dancing with the Stars.”
“The Dalai Lama wants to show the world that he can shake it with the best of them,” said the Lama’s associate and distant cousin, Wally Lama, “First, he wants to dance on Dancing with the Stars, and then he wants to do a world dance tour.”
According to Wally Lama, the dance tour, to be known as “Word to your Lama,” would help the United States in a number of ways.
“The American economy is troubled,” said Wally Lama, “That’s why the Dalai Lama plans on hiring all the dancers laid off in the big MC Hammer crash of the late 1990’s. They will all be provided with our own version of loose-fitting clothing. We have confidence that they will be able to quickly learn our world-famous butt dance.”
Before leaving Memphis, the Dalai Lama blessed the city and made kind remarks to its residents.
“I want to thank you for the fist bump and for saying ‘Hello, Dalai,’” said the Lama, “May you all be blessed. My you all succeed and prosper. And may you all learn… that you can’t touch none o’ this. Watch the Lama shake his butt again. You can’t step to these moves. Word to your Lama!”
The Lama provided the cheering crowd with one final butt dance before he boarded his plane.
“Having the Lama here was a life-changing experience,” said Lowery, “First, I’m crossing that ‘Hello Dalai’ thing off my bucket list. Now, I can move on to the next item – asking Billy Bob Thorton to talk like the guy in Sling Blade again. Woo doggy, I’m on a role.”
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