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Other Congressmen Try to Cash in on ‘You Lie’

On the heels of Rep. Joe Wilson’s successful fundraising efforts following his “You lie!” outburst, other congressmen have joined in on the excitement.

“We can, uh, confirm that, uh,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, “That, uh, other congressmen are shouting things at the President every, uh, chance they get.”

This morning’s briefing with members of the House of Representatives proved quite difficult. Here’s a brief recap:

“Good morning,” said President Obama, “I would like to…”

“You whore!” shouted Rep. John Adler of New Jersey.

“Right,” said the President, “As I was saying, I am…”

“You butthole!” shouted Rep. John Barrow of Georgia.

“Excuse me,” said the President, “What do I look like to you people?”

“186 pounds of monkey crap!” shouted Rep. Ken Calvert of California.

“All right, really funny,” said the President, “Now, on to business…”

“Seal clubber!” shouted Rep. John Dingell of Michigan.

“Now, I do take exception to that,” said Obama, “Not once have I ever clubbed a seal.”

“You fib!” shouted Rep. Bob Etheridge of North Carolina.

“Fib? Couldn’t you think of something more original?” said the President.

“You bite your nails and you have anal warts and you like to sniff the cat’s butt, and you smell like the bottom of a donut that got left on the lawn overnight,” said Rep. Randy Forbes of Virginia, “And you like to pick up frogs and lick them just for fun.”

“I think I’m done,” said Obama as he concluded the briefing.

Things didn’t end with the briefing for the President. As he walked back into the White House and through it’s halls, he was greeted with other outbursts, including “Chunk blower,” “Suppository head,” “Gerbil scrotum,” “Walking pustule,” and “Elephant afterbirth.”

Not all the outbursts had money-making potential. Rep. Bill Foster of Illinois blew his opportunity to get some camera time.

“You…” said Foster, “You… you… dammit!”

The outbursts weren’t confined to congressmen, either. White House chef Barry Stevens had a few choice words for the President as he picked up his sandwich.

“You mouth-open-chewer!” shouted Stevens, “Ew!”

Obama looked for support from Democrat party bigwig Howard Dean when he received a phone call later that afternoon.

“Waaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!” said Dean.

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