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Dr. Gerald Binks Appointed Czar of Czar Selection
 Facing mountains of criticism over the vetting process used for his Czars, President Obama announced the appointment of Dr. Gerald Binks as the Czar for the selection of Czars.
“I understand your frustration with my vetting process,” said Obama, “That’s why I picked an expert at vetting Czars to be my Czar Czar. Czar Czar Binks will start immediately.”
Czar Czar Binks has a tough road ahead of him. Even though his duty is to vet Czars, he’s still a recent appointee in a long line of controversial Czar choices. Most recently, Green jobs Czar Van Jones stepped down after a few facts came to light.
“Apparently, he was a communist whacko who thinks Republicans are a**holes,” said Czar Czar Binks, “Most of that statement doesn’t reflect the views of our administration. Well, I think most of it. At least part of it. Either way, Van was just the wrong guy for the job, especially because he was totally bald. That’s not right.”
Czar Czar Binks has set up a series of meetings with current Czars in order to see how they were vetted and make sure nothing was missed. The meetings started this morning when Czar Czar Binks met with Car Czar Bloom over a cup of coffee.
“I thought having the Czar Czar meet the Car Czar was a good place to start,” said Czar Czar Binks, “His level of corruption was only moderate. I think we’re okay with that. He paid for my coffee, so he can’t be all that bad.”
Czar Czar Binks was introduced to Senate Republicans this afternoon by President Obama.
“I know you’ve all had some issues with my ability to vet Czar candidates,” said the President as he addressed Senate Republicans, “That’s why I’ve appointed my new Czar Czar. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Czar Czar Binks.”
The introduction was met with snickering that quickly debilitated into all-out laughter.
“I’m not sure what everyone’s laughing at,” said Obama, “Czar Czar Binks is a qualified individual. What’s so funny?”
Czar Czar Binks shook off the president’s confusion, shrugged, and quickly gave up on addressing the Senate Republicans, most of whom had excused themselves to the restroom in order to avoid “accidents,” according to Orrin Hatch.
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